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HATE #28: TEXT MESSAGE WRITER’S BLOCK
It is an indisputable fact that women love text message flirting. The text message gives them ample time to consult with yappy best friends, Cosmo articles and astrologers. Its also safe to say that women are probably like a 10th grade English teacher going over Shakespeare when it comes to interpreting meanings of a guy’s [...]
Continue reading...HATE #35: FAST FOOD THAT ADVERTISES TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY FROM THEIR CLOSEST RESTAURANT
7. October 2009
A commercial comes on TV for some outrageously innovative and seemingly delicious fast food item. In a mouthwatering haze you suddenly realize that this particular fast food chain does not sponsor a corporate nor franchise establishment within 500 fucking miles. Sonic, I’m looking at you. The unfathomable disappointment is quickly drowned out by overwhelming resentment. [...]
Continue reading...HATE #37: LOSING THE STRING IN THE WAISTBAND
21. October 2009
We, as an evolved life form, have developed such complex and intricate technologies that we have the capability and wherewithal to launch an individual, like Lance Bass, deep into the outer banks of space, and yet somehow designing a piece of apparel with a fully functional waistband is just a bit too out of reach [...]
Continue reading...HATE #39: THE CUSTOM JERSEY
29. October 2009
Seeing someone in a custom jersey is like seeing Paul Walker in a movie. You just think to yourself, is this guy fucking serious? It’s like putting a kick me sign on your own back. Oh, and number 69? Of course, because you partake in so many 69’s with hot chicks that you just had [...]
Continue reading...HATE #44: SEEING BIG DICKS IN PORN
4. December 2009
Every single porn video I watch has some dude with a huge cock banging out some chick, and she’s loving every inch of it. Well, how the hell is that supposed to make me feel? I look at his rod and then down at my tiny schmeckle and feel pretty useless. I’ve already had to [...]
Continue reading...HATE #48: GHOST CALLS
15. December 2009
Besides my dad’s Lady Gaga ring tone, Ghost Calls are quite possibly one of the most irksome exchanges one can have with a cellular telephone. To clarify, a Ghost Call transpires in the event of a missed call from an unknown number that doesn’t result in a voicemail. This hate presents a particularly unique brand [...]
Continue reading...HATE #3: THE ATM THAT SUCKS UP YOUR CARD
31. July 2009
I’m not quite sure which banks are responsible for such a shitty complication of a seemingly easy transaction, but I do know that this is a broken system. These ATMs generally function in one of two ways. One, you insert your card, the ATM malfunctions and for no particular reason your card never comes out. [...]
Continue reading...HATE #5: THE HEINEKEN MINI KEG
3. August 2009
Who knew that so much hatred could be crammed into such a small container. If you love foam and hate beer then this is the product for you. As overpriced as it is unpractical, the Heineken Mini Keg loses its novelty before you even get it to it’s destination. Upon seeing it in the store, [...]
Continue reading...Hate #8: PEOPLE WHO PLAY AS ODDJOB
6. August 2009
When playing James Bond, “Goldeneye” for the N64 one of your cheap friends always plays as Oddjob. A character that’s 2 feet shorter than everyone else’s so he’s impossible to shoot. He walks around on the 2nd floor of The Stack wielding the RCP-90 standing on top of where the body armor generates. Meanwhile, You’re [...]
Continue reading...HATE #36: THE COUCH THAT’S 6 INCHES TOO SHORT
8. October 2009
After a typical night of downing malt liquor, getting thrown out of strip clubs and sexually harassing Denny’s waitresses by trying to order an ‘American Clam Slam’, I usually end up passed out either face down underneath a highway off-ramp, on a kitchen table, with an exceptionally unattractive girl on top of me, or, in [...]
Continue reading...Top 10
- HATE #44: SEEING BIG DICKS IN PORN
(5.00 out of 5) - HATE #5: THE HEINEKEN MINI KEG (5.00 out of 5)
- Hate #8: PEOPLE WHO PLAY AS ODDJOB (5.00 out of 5)
- The 10 Stupidest Things Girls Like: Part III (5.00 out of 5)
- THIS COULD BE LOVE (5.00 out of 5)
- HATE #28: TEXT MESSAGE WRITER’S BLOCK (5.00 out of 5)
- HATE #35: FAST FOOD THAT ADVERTISES TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY FROM THEIR CLOSEST RESTAURANT (5.00 out of 5)
- HATE #37: LOSING THE STRING IN THE WAISTBAND (5.00 out of 5)
- HATE #39: THE CUSTOM JERSEY (5.00 out of 5)
- HATE #48: GHOST CALLS (5.00 out of 5)
17. September 2009
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